9 mins read


You must wonder… what a question? And i’ll ask again. Why the heck are we in a hurry?

Speaking from a mental health perspective, i speak with all honesty. I know atleast 6 people who have contemplated suicide in the last 2 months, i know atleast 10 or so people struggling with depression and i know several other people who despite working so hard and being so successful at many things, still feel unfulfilled. Now this isnt a post about depression, but l have closely observed that even when depression can be caused by several other reasons, how we lead our lives, and the decisions of what we choose or not chose to be part of directly affect our dopamine and serotonin (happy hormones) stores and then depression comes about and several other things like anxiety, self sabortage etc. And so i ask you again, why the heck are you in a hurry?

Today i attended a lifestyle class i shouldn’t have been part of. A friend got me in, but it must have been the best thing that has happened to me yet, this year. Of the many concepts that were taught, the trainer taught about Down shifting. Think of it as dulling out the noise or taking a step backwards to a point where you connect with yourself emotionally and actually do things purposefully for you. Google will tell you that down-shifters are people who adopt long term voluntary simplicity in their lives. The trainer gave several examples like how moslems take out time 5 times a day to pray. Someone gets 5 times to compose themselves and connect with their spirit. The same went for mediatations or fasting or change in lifestyle like diet or exercise or picking a new routine that fullfills you at an individual level.

Late last year, i was going through a phase. Personally i tend to take on rather too much in terms of work and responsibility. And even when all is going welll, i get anxious. I could win a million dollars this morning, and will get anxious about how to spend it. I’m that kinda person. Well, when i was going through that phase, a workmate told me about a youtube channel called Green Renaissance. It’s today that i realised most people on that channel were practising down-shifting of some kind. I remember getting back from work, watching several videos on that channel and next thing i did was take a social media break. I realised i was living with myself, but wasn’t taking care of my mental self. And so i started to have conversations with myself and this gave me a whole different feel, and a differnt vibe. Two and ahalf weeks off social media and i didn’t miss it. I have since turned off notifications for my social media and left some applications and i must say it’s a whole different kind of realisation. I’m not saying social media is bad. No! people have got jobs there, made great connections, promoted their businesses and so on. But you as an individual, it has to come from a point where you know how you benefit from it and how it affects you and what you could change about. It feels like we’re always out there seeking for someone’s validation with the likes and comments or even showing off. Because if not, then why do we all crave a big following?

It actually got me thinking about many things in life. We are like always waiting on the next trend to actually jump on it, the latest phone, the latest car and so on. I like nice things and it’s okay to be eager for what’s next . But the question is can we afford it? This is the first time i’m talking about affordability in a non monetary way. Can we afford to live with the consequences of whatever we want to hop on next and how does it actually connect with our spirit. Is it actually what we want. Do we ever question it’s significance or whether it would make us happy? If you have undergone depression or seen someone who has, many will say ” they know how to hide it”. But they don’t. It’s because we get carried away into what the world is offering with out actually caring about what it’s taking from us. Then when the day ends after bright smiles and posts on instagram, you end up in your room. Quiet, unhappy, tired and re-live the same unwanted reality . Feeling less accomplished and less fullfilled and you just want to live it all behind. Just last month, Cheslie Kryst (R.I.P) , Miss USA 2019 committed suicide. She jumped off a building in new york. What’s more distrubing is her instagram post 2 days before her death. she posted a beautiful picture of herself and captioned “may this day bring you rest and peace”. Now many of us could have killed to have a life like hers. but she killed herself to walk away from it.

I’ve taken you so far and now i start to clearly point out factors that led to my question above. why are we in a hurry? Wake up anyone at any point of the night, gun to the head and ask ” what do you want in life?” 95% or more of the people will say money. I bet my answer will be alot of money. I love a smiling bank account and a good life and so does everyone. But this has made us forget the simple basics of life like our health, how we relate with people, our families, our children and siblings. We chase the bag and it’s the only thing we’re chasing. But when will the chasing stop? Do you ever think of that? like when will a point come and your money is working for you and you can finally take a vacation once or a year , spend time with the people who mater? Because if we don’t think about this, we will chase the bag forever hoping that this will make us happier? And next thing we know, we will be 70, unhappy , and bedridden with some typa cancer or carrying several chronic illnesses. Like look at doctors forexample. I speak for doctors because i’m one. I hate how we live our lives. We hide under intelligence and passion, but the only thing we ever do is live to work. Exactly that! Rarely do we work to live. That’s why we do 36 hour shifts, do 3 or 4 jobs, sleep in our beds once or twice a week, but still have nothing to show for the money we make. And yes, we are mostly unhappy and disgrantled. Very disgrantled!

I have talked alot, probably my longest post on this site, but i’m only here to share my recent realisations. we don’t have to do things the same way everyone is doing them. we can’t postpone doing what is right for ourselves because we are waiting for several years later to let ourselves feel. Many of our life’s decisions were made for us as kids and we have sort of lived on with the dogma. we have to study this, then get that masters and this phD, then have kids before a certain age, get married to a man or woman that the society will approve, then they will tell us we can’t buy a car before we buy land.. F**k the DOGMA. I think it’s important to connect with yourself and know what will fill your heart. you don’t have to do that masters or get married or buy that house. You could live in a beautiful rented apartment on the 10th flow with a great view, have 2 cats and a dog, no wife, no kids and still be happy if that’s what you want. If you have read this long to the end, thank you, and please remember to connect with yourself , have conversations with yourself and find ways to down-shift in ways that trigger a sense of life into you.

Share this, it could speak to some one. Happy living. Hugs!

10 thoughts on “WHY ARE WE IN A HURRY?

  1. Perfectly said. There’s no better way this can be put. Like I texted in your inbox, you’re our lady Kankwenza😆.
    For sure, we live life like a competition. Right from the time we are born, our parents almost force us to attain proceeding milestones. In class, we always struggle to score highest marks and in life, the earlier we attain certain levels, the better we are recognized in society.
    We live like we are in a race for olympic medals. We spend all our lives chasing for goals and after attaining them, we set more harder goals. When shall we ever settle and live to live. Thank you Viola.

  2. 😭you just told my story of self actualization in one post, except I want Peace, money comes second, nice read

  3. At this point of my life, I have been thinking if I actually like my work, truth is a just fear being broke! But I am in for pursuit of happiness and I have come to a realization how calm and happy I am around my baby and husband! And this is what I want! While the Thought of mmed can’t leave me alone, I do think that’s where I would find the joy🥲, just because we have to fulfill the public dogma like u say! but it’s on us to break the chain, and choose us!

    1. If you were close, i’d give you a tight hug like the old days. But i send you thousands of virtual hugs Aine. Be patient with yourself. today i learnt another thing that life should be 360. let’s not only be career bound. and i’m happpy your small new family brings you great joy. i love you, and i miss us being young and adventerous

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