I will give this year a solid 5/10 and you will judge me as ungrateful for not giving it a 7 at least, but deep down, it was a good 3.5/10.
I can’t spell out the things i have failed at this year because they are so many. Slumbering ideas, business aspirations and ventures, failing to taking care of myself, my mental health, misplaced emotions and all.
Mid way this year, around the second wave of COVID, I remember a day in June where I wanted to get up from my consultation room, enter the car and drive off without ever returning to a hospital because it was very depressing. There was too much COVID, many deaths of people I knew and people I didn’t know and here I was at the verge of giving up my career. That same week, I disconnected a patient’s IV and forgot to recap. This had never happened to me or anyone I knew. I was informed by the nurse a while later when she found the patient bleeding. I reached out to the patient and apologized, and made it it right, but I kept wondering what else could have gone wrong. I remember hating myself and the profession and wishing I were a farmer in a small village where nobody knew me. This must have been one of the days when I decided I needed to venture into a research based field of medicine because my body was just starting to feel like a bag of emotionless sand.
If there is a big lesson I have picked this year, it’s the lesson of less. LESS IS MORE in every way you decide to put it. For every time I have felt overwhelmed by anything or by anyone, stepping back a little bit to give the circumstance less has enabled me to see the big sphere of something. We’re only here for a while and I know that, and even when I say I have to make the most of every single moment, it’s just not possible all the time. I guess the best practice is to pick the simple solution that resonates with your happy. The pursuit for happiness is infinite.
May 2022 be filled with all that you hope for. Remember to prioritize yourself over the unnecessary sense of urgency to your job, spouse or family. Hugs and more hugs