Online Dating.

If you carefully made searches through common online dating Apps, atleast the free ones, you’d be Keen to locate my profiles. Ooh wait, I probably just misled you because if my memory serves me right, I never put up a real picture, never put up a real name, always a wrong birth date and location, and I always lost interest in the unrealness of the whole “dating a picture” kind of thing. It never seemed real atleast not for me, and I always deleted my account within 12 hours, swearing never to try it out again. But I tried it and tried and tried untill it was the same carbon copy and I stopped. Last time I tried must have been about 3 years ago.

Much as 60% of marriages today start as Online dating, it’s not so much of a thing for our communities here in the African society. You might be wondering why I ever tried online dating anyway. Well, it initially started out as something I did out of curiosity. Later, it was the desire to talk to new people with different mindsets and views of life. I wanted to talk to people about something different. I know I could have done it over Facebook or Twitter, but I didn’t like someone going through my profile, ( Speaking of which, I’ll be deleting my Facebook account soon. I deleted my Instagram account already) and I liked that it would come off with anonymity. For disclaimer reasons, I never went onto these apps while I was dating anyone, but still it wasn’t about finding someone to date. It was more of making new friends I’ll say. No expectations, but many times I think I ran away because of the splitting speed at which people send certain images to the inbox. It was strange. I once thought about using a guy’s profile, but I’m glad I didn’t. I wonder how worse it could have gone.

So, dating online, in your opinion, is it a thing? Is it even real or believable? To wake up , open tinder, swipe right, and start talking to a guy or girl in a different continent, and actually fall in love. And have this love stand the test of distance for years, then get married someday? Maybe a week after meeting physically? We must have a problem . What if it’s a catfish, what if it’s a ghost? Or someone gay with a fake profile or a witch doctor🤣? I don’t know, but they could be anything. And every day, you grow to blush and fall in love the “picture” of someone being painted by the things they tell you, by what they post on social media, create your own fantasies, and actually plan a future? Online? And you’ve never met? Woow.

Of course honest people exist, and I’ve seen success stories of such kinds of marriages and I have never understood how it happens. The trust it comes with, the emotions invested , and I have always asked myself the same question. Are they in love? Or are they just too scared to be lonely? Too lonely to have nobody to talk to about a good day and bad day? What Happened to the human desire of longing to touch somebody? A hug , a kiss , sit down, share a meal. I’ve seen people have actual dates online. Everyone seated on the other end with a plate of food, glass of wine, and their phone right ahead doing a video call.

I like to be next to someone whose perfume I can appreciate, their humor, their laugh right from the start. The chills that come with love at first sight, then reliving the small moments all together and deciding to accommodate some things. Convince me about how online dating is perfectly natural, and I’ll convince myself that I’m actually abnormal. I want to understand this psychology and physiology. Because somehow, for me long distance relationships too seem like online dating.